True Story #16

Posted 10.15.2008

My fiancé and I were together for a while but living in different cities. She had a 18-month-old child with another guy that lived in the same city as her. He was a guy that loved putting her down all the time. I had already made plans to move in in a couple of months and was taking care of some things where I was living so I had no loose ends when I moved.

We both wanted another child! Well, she got pregnant and at first she was happy as was I. With me not there and her ex putting her down, she got scared! Her ex started feeding her thoughts of me not moving in. She got extremely depressed and went to an abortion clinic. She was around seven weeks pregnant. After the fact, she regreted everything and started to shut herself off from me and her family. I fell into a drepression myself! To this day, I still cry when I think about it, and so does she.

We both feel that they make it too easy. She had told me that they made her feel like it was just going in and getting a shot. They just told her about the physical risks but left out the emotional risks. They didn't bother to ask why she wanted to do it or to see if she knew about other options if she wanted to have our child. We found out later it was in the paperwork in small print that couldn't even be read because it was a poor photocopy. She realized afterwards they weren't there to help her and got her in and out very quickly.

I hurt emotionally and physically and my work was affected. I was completly helpless to do anything. It took both of us to create a child, but when it came to taking that life away, I was helpless. I know I am not the one able to carry the child, but if I could have, I would have without a second thought. I don't see why a loving father should have to go through that because nature has made it where the woman carries the child. If a man did not want the child and hit a woman, resulting in the unborn child's death, he would be charged with murder... which is right.

I don't blame her. I blame the policies which make it possible for these things to go on. She had told me if the option was not there, she would have got past the fear. They just made it too easy and cheap to make a mistake that not only she has to live with, but so do I. We have healed enough now and are trying to have a child together. But we both are still scared for the rest of our lives! I just have to remember that our child is with God now! Remember this quote: "he whos spends time regreting the past loses the present and risks the future."

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