True Story #1

Posted 12.10.2005

Originally, I was born in Painesville, Ohio, but I grew up all over Madison, Ohio. Now I live in a small west side suburb of Cleveland. I didn't have the best family growing up. My mother was a great taker of pills, my grandmother would procrastinate about procratination, and my uncle was, and still is a minister. Unfortunately, I am unemployed, but I am furthering my education, and hope to go to broadcasting school here within the next two years.

I first found out my significant other was pregnant the morning after we had had a terrible argument. I was 16, she had just turned 15. I had spent the night over at a good friend's house, when she called. She knew his number, because her best friend was his girlfriend. I think that at first, she was scared, but still excited. She could be hard to read sometimes.

When I found out that she was going to have an abortion, I tried my hardest to discourage her, and her parents. I told them that I would raise the child alone, and I would not drag them into it for any reason. They didn't like that, and told me that it was going to happen. By this time, she was even more scared. I knew that she had no clue what to expect. In all honesty, I think I was more scared for the both of us.

About two months after this horrific ordeal, she and I broke up. From what I understand, one of her friends convinced her to call it quits with me.

Since the abortion, I have felt so much. I've been really angry with everyone, but I cannot justify the feeling toward them. I feel very depressed. I find myself crying sometimes when I am alone. Without trying to understand why I am crying, I begin to think of the baby. She would be going on five.

I tried on and off for years to find out if there was a way to get some help. Someone to talk to, and actually listen to my feelings, and maybe, give me advice on how to deal with those feelings. It wasn't until my daughter was born that I really realized that I needed some help.

I firmly believe that God has been walking with me every step of the way. I know that he touches me whenever I am feeling unhappy.

Slowly, I am feeling better about the abortion. I still feel hurt that it happened, but I feel relief knowing that Jesus is holding her, and protecting her. I can't wait to meet my little girl.

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